It takes 2 to...ride a scooter?

Shout out to Colleen Huston for the spectacular iPhone photography effort that has given way to this, the newest blog post of many to come. I'm not sure about the whole "shout out" thing. Somebody's going to have to let me know if that's still cool to say now that I'm 21. All I know is that when I was 12, every kid who gave his or her testimony at church camp always gave a shout out to their cabin mates. Back then it was an honor to hear your name on the other end of a "shout out." Is it still cool? I don't know. Somebody's going to have to let me know though if I just lost some street cred with my opening line.
Anyhoot. Here we are, post #3. I'm trying to keep up with the Dalai Lama of blogs - Laura Jane Kenny. However, I'm very easily finding that fashion criticism isn't all that it's cut out to be. Behind the red carpets, the hangout sessions with Louis Vuitton and the Project Runway cast, and the vacation homes in Malibu and Cancun, I'm finding that posting takes a lot of hard work. Needless to say, when I found this picture on facebook (No I don't have a facebook. Do I look like a 16 year old girl?), I knew I had a post in the making.
Let me set the scene. I live with 5 guys about a mile from where I go to college - Azusa Pacific University. Being the environmentally friendly fellow I am (in addition to not owning a car), I ride my bike (which is quite fashionable - note to the author of "Put Your Fancy Pants On") to and from campus several times everyday. While the ride isn't grueling by any means, I decide I'd rather put peddling aside every once in a while and catch a ride with a roomate. This doesn't seem to pose any problems, except that one of my roomates, Dana, owns a moped...and I'm 6'3" tall. My relationship with this particular moped began April of 2009. I can honestly say 2 years later Dana and I couldn't be more happy with out little girl that takes us to and from campus, church, and occasionally Stater Bros.
Take some time to look at this picture. Criticize it. Laugh at it. Mock the picture. Go back to your jr. high years, harness that negative attitude you had, and be mean!
Alright, time's up. Here's the part of the blog where I make you feel stupid. You're soon going to realize that this whole time I've make you think that this blog was about the lack of fashion displayed when 2 grown men ride one tiny moped together. However, tonight I write to my audience to let you all know that in fact it's you, the criticizer, who is not being cool right now. As Dana and I waited for the light to turn green last Friday night when this picture was taken, we saw laughs coming from cars all around us. I felt the hulk begin to build up inside due to my lack of self-confidence when I heard Dana say, "I love making people happy." That's when I realized, 'Yeah Dana, you're right. WE ARE SO DAMN COOL!' Many might argue that it is unfashionable for two guys to ride a moped that is far too small for them. But to that I say false. The fact that Dana and I know that we do not look cool, but are willing to ride around on that little crotch rocket anyway, well that's what makes us fashionable.
Fashion lies in the confidence one bestows regardless of what they are wearing. It's not about a label (or lack thereof due to new fashion trends. Thank you American Apparel), it's about an attitude. So all you men and women out there who think you don't have the right wardrobe to be hip, listen to me. Walk tall. Be strong. Buy a cool pair of shades. And flaunt all that you are.

If all else fails, turn down the moped and just walk to campus.

The Poncho - a flawed fashion

A friend of mine named Dalex recently spent spring break at his home in Oregon. Oregon is the land of the rain, which bothers some but is loved by others. Yesterday I sat down with Dalex to ask him about his break, only because that is the polite thing to do...I really didn't care. Lucky for me, Dalex went into every detail of every day, even down to what they ate. Nonetheless, I listened, and as I listened I actually began to fancy his story of a hike they went on.
Up into the woods of Oregon's Columbia River Gorge rested this usually tranquil hiking path. On this particular day however, the wind was roaring and the rain pounded the ground. Needless to say, Dalex loved it! His description of the scenery was magnificent. And as I imagined what things might have looked, there was not a flaw in my mind. That is, until I saw a picture.
What can ruin a beautiful setting you ask? Terrible fashion. This word "terrible" can stretch far and wide, but one definition would be hiking socks, cut-off sweats, a flannel, and a red rain poncho. Awful. As I looked at facebook pictures, it took me minutes to even notice the beautiful waterfull in the backdrop, for my eyes were fixed on the red posterboard that Dalex wore. Clearly, there was no respect for mother nature.
On the subject of the poncho, I also have one more question - who the "eff" thought it was a good idea to make a poncho for rain that has short sleeves? Not the most intelligent designer if you ask me. I have this weird hunch that most of Dalex's upper body remained dry the whole hike due to the poncho, while his arms were soaked. These are just my own concerns for such an ugly, yet practical piece of fashion.

One more thing that isn't fancy - creating a blog and not writing a post for several dozen years.

Salzwedel, out.

your pants are not fancy

Upon much deliberation of the positive, uplifting, and educated blog of Laura Jane Kenny (put your fancy pants on), I've decided, with her approval of course, to bring us back down to the humble state that we belong. Will my writing be better than LJ's? Far from it. Will I have any idea what I am talking about? No. Will this blog ever get updated? Great question. Will 90% of the poor fashion photos that show up on the blog be taken of myself with my laptop's "Photo Booth" program? Very Likely.

I do know one thing. All your pants are not as fancy as you once thought. Let me be a constant reminder of that.

Oh, and what am I wearing as I create this blog you ask? Shorts that I bought 4 years ago, high white tube socks, and some Vans Santa gave me for Christmas. If you're picturing me half naked right now...well that's about right.

Blessings my friends.